A Parent’s Worst Nightmare
Today is a sad anniversary for the Hom family. Please say a prayer for them and be grateful that Brian is willing to share their heartbreaking story to help keep our children safe.
A Parent’s Worst Nightmare
By Brian Hom
I was invited to share the story of my 18 year old son BJ Hom (photo above) who passed away last summer on July 1, 2008 from an allergic reaction from peanuts while vacationing in Mexico.
BJ was a loving son and brother and a good loyal friend to all who knew him. As our first born son, he never asked for much. He was quiet and kind and very content with a simple life. BJ was known for his shy smile. If you tried to make him laugh, he would look at you indirectly and crack a small smile.
Last summer, our family planned a very special vacation to Los Cabos, Mexico to celebrate BJ’s high school graduation and his 18th birthday. We had no idea then that the vacation we looked forward to so much would turn out to be the worst time of our lives.
It started on July 1, 2008. We were so excited as we landed in Mexico at 7 pm and quickly checked into the resort. We put our suitcases in our room without unpacking and headed straight to a buffet dinner at the resort restaurant around 8:45.pm. We finished a quick and uneventful meal by 9:20 and decided to walk around the resort to look at the pool and the beach.
It was just as we started our walk that BJ spoke his last words to me, “Dad my throat hurts. Can you buy me some cough drops?”
I bought BJ some cough drops from the resort gift shop and we separated after that. My other sons and I headed to the resort arcade while BJ stayed with my wife Kathy.
BJ told her “Mom, I don’t feel well. Can we go to the room?” So they headed toward the elevator, but things quickly took a turn for the worse. BJ’s lips turned blue, his face turned very pale, and he was grabbing his chest as he could no longer breathe. Kathy led him to a couch in the lobby to sit down but he collapsed on the floor of the lobby before he could make it there.
Minutes later, a lady came rushing in to us at the arcade and said “Your son is very ill and you need to come to the lobby!” I was very concerned but I didn’t know what to think. I thought he might have been choking on something, maybe on the cough drop.
When I got there, I couldn’t believe what I saw. BJ’s eyes were open but he couldn’t talk and was gasping for air. The hotel staff was frantically trying to give first aid assistance. The paramedics arrived within ten minutes and continued in their attempts to help my son.
At one point, we knew he stopped breathing so my wife and I kept asking where the doctor was. When the doctor arrived, they continued with frantic attempts to revive him with oxygen and CPR. The paramedics gave us hope that he might be breathing again. So we kept asking the doctor “Is he going to be okay? ”
Finally, the doctor responded to us. He hesitated for a minute, took a deep breath and said “Sorry” Then he closed my son’s eyes and covered his head with a blanket. There wasn’t much else he could do.
This was the worst and most heartbreaking day in our lives. Kathy and I felt like someone had reached into our chest and ripped out our hearts. To this day, I still can’t believe it really happened. But it did happen and that is why I am on a mission now. I have two other boys at home, BJ’s brothers, who have peanut [and sesame] allergies too. I want the world to know that food allergies are real and this is what can happen if you are not prepared to deal with them.
This article is dedicated to the loving memory of my son Brian James Hom II.
Part II tomorrow
July 6, 2009 @ 1:28 pm
[…] Our friend Brian Hom is coordinating the Food Allergy and Anaphylaxis (FAAN) walk in San Francisco this year on Sept 12, 2009. Please check out their sponsorship page and support them if you can. […]
July 7, 2009 @ 6:38 pm
I am so terribly sorry to hear about BJ. I too know what having a child with allergies is like. I have a two year old boy that we call JC. He has been struck with allergies since he was very small. At first the doctor that took care of him just with in weeks after he was born said that was just the humans natural reaction after being born, was to sneeze a lot. But the sneezing has never gotten better, only worse. Then the runny nose came into play, soon there after were the watering eyes and the coughing. With in the past few months, my poor JC has started to have hives, from what we have no clue. I took JC to the doctors the first time the hives popped up, and had to beg him to do something. JC’s eyes were starting to swell shut. It was crazy! Not as bad as last summer when his eye completely swoll shut over a mosquito bite though. My just barely two year old having trouble seeing because of hives, all he could do was itch and cry. Finally two weeks ago I found an allergist that would accept my husbands insurance, and made an appointment. He gave my baby Atarax and Flonase, at first I had no idea who he thought he was talking to, wanting me to try to give a 2 year old a nose spray, yeah right, I thought, lol. I went ahead and picked up the prescriptions right after the doctors appointment, and started them that night. The nose spray didn’t go over as badly as I thought it would, in fact by the 3rd night that I gave it to him he had the hang of it already. The Atarax has helped, and the sneezing has slowed down since the start of Flonase. At the allergist appointment I set up an appointment for his allergy testing. Today was the testing appointment, they tested him for 36 different things and out of 36 he was allergic to exactly half being 18 things, some of them I have no idea of what they are. That’s what I’m trying to do now is find out what W.W. Hemp , drechslera, can. alternaria (a), bermuda, and cladosporium are. I can’t seem to find it online. I don’t know if I’m just not doing it right or what, but I cannot figure out what they are. They also told me today that his reactions to the 18 things he popped up allergic to today, that his reactions were most likely going to get worse the older he gets. They haven’t tested for food allergys yet, I’m scared to find out what they are. He did have a negative reaction to peanuts though. Although he’s allergic no wheat, go figure. Thank you for sharing your story, and once again I am so sorry to hear about BJ. He was a very handsome guy. Good luck on your mission, and I’m going to continue on mine.
September 18, 2009 @ 11:41 am
I am sorry for your loss. I am a mother myself and my daughter has recently started taking Flonase