Food Allergy Etiquette
Allergy Etiquette:
If you have a child with food allergies, you’re already aware that there is no rule book for dealing with social situations. The holidays bring lots of occasions for socializing which always revolve around food.
Here is a question that comes up every year.
Question:
My mother-in-law just doesn’t “get” the allergy thing. We’re going to her house for Thanksgiving and
although she wants to cook for my daughter, I don’t trust that she can do so safely. My husband won’t say a thing! I want to stay home but he will be furious. What should I do?
Answer: Look at this from the best case and worst case scenario. In the worst case, you bite your lip and let your daughter eat food that you know may not be safe for her. She has a severe reaction and everyone’s holiday is ruined. Is that is a risk that you are willing to take?
If you knew that a restaurant did not have safe practices, you wouldn’t eat there.
The fact that your mother-in-law doesn’t truly understand food allergies does not justify putting your
daughter at risk.
Brainstorm a few ideas that will keep your daughter safe while allowing your in-laws to feel they are providing a nice meal. Perhaps she would purchase some safe desserts like Divvies cupcakes or a Gakssnacks coffee cake. Or maybe you could offer to bring a couple of side dishes that are safe for everyone. Could you bring some unopened tubs of safe margaine and safe bread? Could you arrive early and cook certain portions of the meal with her?
Since food allergies were so rare 50 or 60 years ago, it may be hard for others to believe that a “healthy food” could be so dangerous.
Others may or may not really ‘’get-it” but we can’t let their grasp of food allergies or even their feelings nudge us toward putting our children in risky situation.
The issue is complicated with in-laws since these relationships can be emotionally charged anyway.
However, you can substitute any friend or family member and the advice is the same: safety first!
